Unwritten Mantra

They say I’m hurting myself because I am making myself easily taken for granted to others.
I will always accept their call of need. I don’t even know (and it doesn’t even matter) if I’m the first person they will run into or the last person.
So if the latter would be true, why the hell would I selfishly complain and refuse them now, when they have exhausted all of their choices and eventually sought mine?
I may not be the brightest of stars that shines on their days. But I can at least be the faintest of light on their darkest of nights.

Repair Shop

We are back again I see.

Yeah. It’s getting worse and worse.

No worries. Let me do that for you…Oh my. This is worse.

My apologies my friend. It has been harder for me to take care of it.


What is it? You cannot repair it?

Not exactly…but you do realize repairing these reopened cracks and hinges again and again can do so little as time goes by.

I don’t mind paying you every single time my friend…or are you getting tired?

No. Not at all. It’s my job after all.

Then what’s with this seemingly possible look of hesitation from you?

You don’t have to wear this thing all the time! You can freely be yo…

WE ALREADY HAVE DISCUSSED THIS! You already know I cannot do that! They must not know!

You only think that they do not want to know! They are actually tryi…

I don’t want them to. They…must not know. They think of great things of me wearing THAT thing.

Well. Okay then. I’ll repair this again. But I’m telling you, you need to at least show them what’s behind THAT thing.

We’ve been through this my dear friend. They must not know. I mean, why would they waste their time knowing about me?

Because they want to. And if you’re not seeing that they really want to. Then i should make these two holes right here wider. Haha.

You’re such a joker. You don’t have to do that to me. I’ll always be your number one customer. Haha.

There. All done.

Good! Now let me get my wallet…Here. Thanks again my friend!

With pleasure. Say…

What is it?

Have you ever thought about it though?

What is?

That someone might actually strive to completely remove and destroy that thing?

I’m pretty sure everyone is curious about me.

It’s not that they are curious. They think they might already know who you really are. And they want that thing to be removed.

Why would they?

I think it is because they look at that thing as a cage of some sort.

Enough with your jests, my friend. You and your metaphors…

Do you think that you’re trapped?

Excuse me?

Do you think that you are locking yourself away from your own ideals? Are you trapped and hoping that someone sets you free?

It isn’t a cage. That’s why I always come here for repair every time it’s worn out.

You know. Eventually, I might not be here for your repairing needs.

Then I’ll do it myself.

We both know you can’t and don’t want to! That’s why you’re coming here for me to do it!

Goodbye, my friend.

You forgot something.


Your repaired mask.

A Restart

Basically, I want to blog again.

Clearly, a social networking site is not a place for my über long posts of sweet nothings and…simple nothings.

But yeah, this serves me a comfort that is likened as to writing on a diary. Obviously you people can see these publicly so no point of knowing my deep and dark secrets here. Besides, you can actually ask me or know about these things when it’s just
the two of us.

So hopefully this will stick. This will last.

Because there are some things in life that are not lost when you stop, we are just forgetting the fact that we can actually restart.

さようなら (sayounara)


A Japanese term meaning goodbye. じゃ また (ja mata) also means goodbye, but these two terms are different…


It is required on our curriculum for being a math major to learn at least one foreign language. Ever since, my childhood was filled with anime and up ’til now I am still enjoying their stories and plots. Because of this, I chose to learn the Japanese language or 日本語 (nihongo).


The class of basic Japanese was great! It was so great that I used up my free electives just to continue learning Japanese. I even had a great bond with my classmates and 先生’s (senseis).


I learned a lot of things. Being able to read them. Write them. Speak them. I even want to share these terms to others.


With the people I know, we would usually use the romaji (or how a Japanese word is syllabicated) when we have text conversations mixed with English and/or Filipino terms.


But this is the thing that I am fond of doing: telling Japanese phrases to people that do not understand it. It is some kind of surprise, not to mention a cute sight to see that person “die” slowly with curiosity.


I can’t remember how many countless phrases I stored up. Usually, I would utilize them right away or plan on how I would use them in situations.


My draft message in my cellphone were filled with phrases. Every time my 先生 would mention a phrase worth sharing, I would quickly grab my phone and type its romaji.

I even almost hated myself because I forgot one time that my 先生 viewed a short clip where a boy said to a girl the “ultimate” way of showing affection.


It is really fun to learn Japanese or any other language. The reason we learn a language is to meet.

To know.

To understand.

To express.

To communicate.

To bond.

じゃ また.

じゃ また means goodbye, but it actually means more of a “see you later.” You part ways with the person but you both expect to see each other very soon. A very optimistic message of knowing that both of you will always have time to meet.


I have learned to say all these words and expressions to people who know or do not know the language.

…except one.

I thought that I would not need to say this. It was too sad to pronounce it, but I believe that our situation actually fits the definition.

This is goodbye.

We parted ways.

The difference is that we will never see each other again. Unless, in the distant future that we might meet, it is not because of fate. We will just treat the meeting that it just happened, and we will say goodbye once again.